SATAN YOU CAN'T HAVE MY VICTORY

Approximately two years ago during a study on the fear of God by Francis Chan, God revealed to me that I had an unhealthy fear of Him when I was a child. God only revealed this much to me at that time and I immediately stored it somewhere in my subconscious. Then last Wednesday July16,2014 after listening to a message on "balance", God took me back to that unhealthy fear, so let me take you back with me.

I was not raised in church and my earliest memories of church came at the age of 8, these memories were shadowed by the fact that my father was dying and when I was 9 my father died. It was here at this moment fear of God came on me, it was such a fear of Him and the power He had over life and death (let me say right here, no one ever talked to me about death, about what happens when someone dies) this power that God has was what I perceived in me. So after the funeral, I announced to my mother "I will not go back to church again". Unfortunately she also chose not to go back to church. When I was 12 my cousin invited me to a revival at her church, so I said I would go. At the close of the service they asked that if anyone would like to share some testimony to come on up. So being the shy 12 year old that I was, I got in line to speak. When I reached the pulpit here is what I said "I hate God, He killed my daddy and I am afraid He is going to kill me" Wonder how that went over? It would be 15 more years before I would meet God's grace and embrace His love that was extended to me through the cross. It was here that balance would come, the unhealthy fear that had tormented me for 18 years and had pushed me away from God, now became a healthy fear that pulled me to Him. Again God was only revealing a little at a time. Because He was preparing me for Sunday's message.

Sunday morning July 20,2014 our message continued on Victory and how God will take us back to our greatest defeat to move us forward from it. As I sat there listening, my life past before my eyes, I saw what I had written above, and I went on to see that when I was 38 and my marriage was falling apart just like the child of 9 I declared from my mouth "I hate God, I will not go back to church, God has forsaken me". As I sat there I realized that God was taking me back to show me the moment of my first defeat at 9, and how even after I was saved, active in church and bible study, that defeat was repeated when my world fell apart again. It would be 12 more years before I would find myself in the arms of a forgiving Father. As I sat there and listened to the message, I heard the voice of God speak into my spirit "I have taken you back to your defeat to show you, that will not happen to you again, because now your faith is as strong as a mountain." Well, praise God lesson learned. But God was not finished yet.

Monday July 21,2014

Reading in 1John 5:4-5 For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world---our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?

and then to Revelation 12:11 And they overcame him (the accuser mentioned in verse 10) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.

It seems that through out my life Satan has attempted to destroy me by destroying my faith. I remember when I came back to Jesus I prayed "Lord, let my life be a testimony that will bring You glory" and then I wondered why so much has happened that would shake my faith. God has shown me, that I have sought Him throughout these last 16 years more than any other time in my life. Because I have sought after Him, though my faith has been tested, though my faith has been shaken, though I have wept, shouted and wanted to give up. My faith in my Lord, my God has remained and has grown. Victory is mine because I have overcome the wicked one, by the blood of the Lamb and by my testimony. I know that I will continue to be tested and tempted and have moments of a shaking of my faith, but when God spoke to me Sunday morning His promise; then I knew that my faith has been settled and though everything around me fall and crumble my faith will remain because the one who gave me His promise is faithful to keep His promise.

I have pursued and I have waited to hear the voice of my God speak to me that I now have the victory I had so longed for.  Never again will I turn away from pursuing my Lord. Just so you know 3 days after I wrote this and spoke this, I received a phone call that took away more of my income ( a storm to test my faith). Ha! Satan you can't have my VICTORY!!!

If you are in search of an on-line bible study check out www.lindagroberts.com a lot of different studies on the website, look to the left and choose one you may like, the current one is The Thread of Hope.