A Bright New Day

This one will be quite long since I really want to move beyond this part of my story. Last time I left it that was at crossroads in my life; I would love to say that I chose the right path and continued my daily walk with God,  but I chose the pleasure of sin rather than the presence of God. 

Luke 15:11-32 tells the parable of the lost son, many know the story but I suggest you go back and refresh your memory. Jesus secured salvation and all the promises of God through His death, burial and resurrection, His very blood cleansed me and made me a joint heir Galatians 3:13-14 says
"Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us(for it is written cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree."  that the blessings of Abraham might come upon the Gentiles in Christ Jesus. that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith." and
2 Peter 1:4 "by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust."  Our inheritance goes beyond eternal life, it is that we have the promises of God contained in His Word imparted to us through the shed blood of Christ, when we align our life around His Word and His promises. This is what I threw away.

Chasing the world, the flesh and the devil always comes with a price. I was in torment the word rage can not even describe what was going on in me and screaming it's way out. My sinful condition was so grievous that I even tried suicide. Yet, God's mercy kept me.  Still I had come to believe this was my lot in life, no one loved or wanted me, so settled for much less. I sunk deeper and deeper into the filth of the world (the pig pen) I was unfaithful to my God, to Jesus, to the Holy Spirit. I played the role of a harlot and hated myself but couldn't seem to stop (addiction). 4015 days later I came to my senses and began the journey home. I said how can God still love me after all I have done and said, my repentance was real and sincere and just like the prodigal son God was waiting right where I had left Him and as I started back He came to meet me wiped the tears away and washed the filth of my life clean.

I asked God to show me that He loved me and He did. For the next 365 days I sat in church feasting on the Word, I was back in studying the Word, back to establishing my prayer life. Yet, I was very weak from the years of famine so God poured out His love on me by keeping evil from me and me from evil. Supernatural things happened that year to keep me pure of heart, mind and body. Then when I became stronger I said Lord give me the strength to say no, so all of this will be permanently behind me and sure enough He did and a bright new day was on the horizon.

Some would say that by grace I was eternally secure, others would say because I left God I was now lost. This issue I will not debate, I have found many scriptures supporting both. In fact one Is the story of the prodigal son. I will say this God cannot look upon sin, He was not with me when I was playing the harlot in the world. Yet, He is a wonderful Father who kept watch for me to come back to Him and came to meet me when I was on my way. He is a God of second chances. A God who never stopped loving me, my condition is between me and Him. For I am His and He is mine.

At a Crossroad Which Way Do I Go

As I said earlier I had been saved for 12 years and my life was becoming a great struggle. I was turning 40 and felt unloved, unwanted, unappreciated and unlovely (lot of un's). Instead of growing closer to my Lord I was drifting further away, I had begun to blame God for all that was happening to me and my marriage (after all Linda could never be to blame). Depression had settled in, divorce was on the horizon and someone in the wings was saying I want you, I appreciate you, I think you are pretty. What do I do everything in me had been taught this is wrong, he is someone else's husband. Misery set in, I'm now divorced, two young girls to take care of, lonely beyond imagination, and someone is saying "I want you, I appreciate you, I think you are pretty." I felt rejected by my husband and abandoned by God. Instead of calling on God for strength I said" I will not pray, I will not read the blble, I will not go to church, because God did not keep me from temptation. With all the I will's who do you think was pouring that into my head? At a crossroad what did I do?

The Trap of the Enemy

After I was born again, I immediately bought a Bible (red leather King James), found a church, got involved in bible studies. In fact the first book I read after salvation was the book of James and was thrilled that I could understand it especially chapter 3. You see I had a foul mouth, and through the grace of God He cleaned it up first. I brought a lot of baggage in with my relationship with Jesus and a little at a time He started removing them. I was so excited about Jesus and my new life that I bubbled, and was anxious to tell people about Jesus, heaven and hell. Being married to an unbeliever and as more children were born, I began to grow weary. I could not understand why my husband refused salvation and he couldn't stand my new way of thinking and living. I was learning and believed I was maturing, yet satan had a snare, a trap was waiting for me. Twelve years of praying for my husband and being tore down for what I believed was dragging me closer and closer into the enemy's trap:  2Timothy 2:24-26  "And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance,so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will." 4,380 days have gone past. You think I would be walking closer with God, but am I?

Finding Christ

Since I really have never done this before I really do not know where to begin. The purpose of this blog is to share my walk with God.

In 1974, at the age of 27, I had been searching for sometime for an answer to the void I had in my life. Then at the right time, the right moment God placed my own sister in front of me and I noticed there was a change in her(a change for the better) listening to her and watching her; I realized what she had was what I needed. I finally asked her what is going on why have you changed? She began to tell about the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and as she talked conviction fell on me and I repented and surrended my life to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Wasn't that great and life was happy everafter; not hardly. That is only the first step, salvation is free Jesus paid my debt. 2Corinthian 5:21 " He made Him who knew no sin to become sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him"  Day one and all is well.